Today

I am separating myself from work.

value has been ascribed to what I do

what I do to who I am and vice versa

in life sometimes, there have been times where I cannot

cannot do who I am

cannot do what is me

and then what?

sometimes to get started feels like the hardest part but it’s not necessarily in the starting so much as it’s in the anticipating of all the things that have to continue once I start.

whew.

And I feel tired.

I have been feeling tired.

so I am separating myself from work.

because I still am here to be.

and in fact I am here to see…

what I see is what will help others recognize me.

Because

without the doings and the identifyings and the workings and the provings I don’t know what’s left.

and not in a sad way. Not in a sad way. Not in the way of oh wah poor me I don’t even know myself without these things. That feels like last decade.

I don’t know what’s left in the sense that I genuinely don’t know it.

in the way that I didn’t know how to add until I learned and experienced.

not in the way that I learned a tree was called a tree and now I ”know” it.

that also feels like it was for last decade.

this time, right now, today, is for learning about what is left because it’s all that is here.

And when things aren’t here anymore its because they aren’t meant to be here anymore.

so I am what is left.

to be revealed. divorced my value from work and things and who I ams and what I dos.

to see the value in whats left because the alternative is feeling slim to no value in times of slim to no working and doing.

value being associated with money. it all feels tired.

so today I am divorced from it. and so deeply dissolved in it. yes. that’s it.

intentional self expression for myself. today.