I have a couple of decisions to make. Actions to take or not take. I feel a lot of pressure mounting around them. The pressure builds inside of me and it comes from both directions.

The head and the root.

Inside my mind I am weighing the options, drafting conversations and messages, imagining myself taking different routes and paths and entertaining any number of possibilities.

The more I do this, the more my body responds to it. Hands sweating, body feeling buzzy, a feeling of stress building within me.

I am glad I can notice it. Sometimes, though, I’m not sure what to do about it. Because I need to talk out loud. And sometimes I can’t.

I need to allow myself to refocus and sometimes the mind is going crazy with thoughts and scenarios and then I feel rushed in my body, like I have to hurry up and get these decisions over with to feel less stressed.

I cannot rush this. I have to trust my process, I have to talk.

When I can talk, sometimes I don’t. When I can’t, sometimes I wish I could. Otherwise my mind drives me loco bananas.

I am doing my best. Life provides.

I am doing my best. In the meantime, thank you for the invitations.

And I love you still.