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Bodily rebellion
This morning I woke up with a headache. Tonight I am attending an online grief support group. I have been feeling anxiety these last few days. Tonight I am attending an online grief support group. I have been working more than usual this month. Tonight I am attending an online grief support group. Coincidences? Maybe.…
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Forcing
And yes I will commit to things to the best of my ability. Especially as it relates to values that I commit to. love creativity patience gratitude Very very present currently for me. Orienting towards these. But no, I will not force myself anymore. There is a fine line between discipline and force, between ambition…
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This time around
I have a pattern. I have many patterns. Many many patterns. One of them is avoiding conflict, confrontation and communication if I feel like I am upset about something and I can’t share it with that person. Another is protecting myself by avoiding how I feel or trying to push it aside around other people…
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Expansion… and grief.
I am working on an article about Pluto in Capricorn, which I am really excited about. But I realize it might take me some time so I decided to share a bit today anyway, to keep my daily commitment to showing up and writing or speaking or updating my website. This week has been ……
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I don’t know…grief
I don’t know what to write today, but I came here to write. So I will. I try to write an article once a week but the excitement for that hasn’t come yet this week. I thought it would today because today is Wednesday and the last couple of articles I wrote were written on…
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Dreams I had
There are so many dreams I have had. Actual dreams… like dreams that happen when you’re asleep. Day dreams, the kind that really take you away during your day. And dreams inside my head and heart about my desires for my life. Those are the hardest I feel. Because they are the ones that I…
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A letter to my mind
To my beloved mind… I remember reading once that asking you to stop thinking would be like asking my heart to stop beating. I would never do that, I want to be here. So … why does it feel this way with you my dear mind? Things that go on in there feel out of…
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Grief – 3
Ohhhhh boy am I angry. Raging actually. And you know what? It’s not about the death. It’s not about you dying. Its about everything else and everyone else. It’s about others consistently making choices that restrict my life or affect my life and then I have to live out the aftermath of it. I am…
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A love note to my senses
Hi eyes. Hi ears. Hi nose. Hi mouth. Hi hands and skin. Where do I begin? To eat the ripest fruits. See the face of the one I love. Hear my mother’s laugh from her room. Smell the freshness of the air when I step outside. Feel the softness of a towel upon my skin.…
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Grief – 2
Today it feels like ‘what if?’ In the darkness I cry. Sometimes at night, sometimes early morning before the sun rises. I realize I am terrified. What if something happens? What if she dies? What if they don’t tell me? What if they shame me for not calling? What if they guilt me? What if…
