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Staying
Slow and steady. That is what I feel the pace of my life has been lately. Sometimes I want to get out of things and move on to new things, but every time I cycle through that energy, I learn something. This time I am learning that there is so much adventure to be had…
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Missing my guardian angel
Gosh. Goodness. Goodness gracious ouch. I didn’t know what it would really be like to miss you. Not like I do now. I remember things. I remember things. I remember things and I am so glad I remember things. I remember you told me… “if you fall on your ass we’ll be there.” I remember…
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To my beloved momma
I ache with deep love for you. If I could rid you of your suffering I would. Sometimes I feel I would take it on. Sometimes I feel I would actually take it on so you didn’t have to. And I realize that I have always tried, to protect you. My love for you runs…
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Inside,
Inside, I am raging. Inside, I am hurting. Inside, I am crying. Inside, I am devastated. Inside, I am heartbroken. Inside, I am in despair. Inside, I am confused. Inside, I am raging. Inside, I really am raging. Enraged. What do I do with you? My rage. My confusion. My desperation. My heartbreak. My devastation.…
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Triggers
When your name comes up, I feel triggered. Text message, phone call, photo, doesn’t matter. I feel a flash of heat and a wave of anxiety or anger through my body. My mind starts racing with thoughts. Nothing can be done just yet. I am afraid to feel all of this but it is time.…
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The middle
I am feeling a little bit of a lull with coming here to write. And I think that’s okay. I am interested in seeing this through especially because 100 days is something that makes me feel like I can feel it out. So I am in the sticky middle. And these days I’ve been feeling…
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Proving my love
I asked, “Do you ever feel like you have to prove that you love me?” ”Yes, sometimes.” I thought to myself…yeah me too. I learned that to love is to show and tell and prove. I learned that to love is to buy and to take and to reserve and to spend and to share…
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The unexpected
I am so afraid of breaking the rules sometimes that it is paralyzing. What if I get in trouble? What if something happens? I really feel that the mind, in my mind, it is TERRIFYING to think of breaking the rules. And yet, in so many aspects of my life and in so many decisions…
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The Rules
The Rules, you know? The RULES. Those rules. THE rules. Them, you know? The rules you better follow. Or else. Those ones. Yes THOSE rules. The Rules. You know?
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Hrvatska
blah blah blah I really am struggling with feeling like I have a community. Social media exhausts me and I am not sure what to do about it. I find it such a waste of time yet somehow have this belief that without it I can’t be successful because no one will find me. How…
