blah blah blah
I really am struggling with feeling like I have a community.
Social media exhausts me and I am not sure what to do about it. I find it such a waste of time yet somehow have this belief that without it I can’t be successful because no one will find me.
How can I do this?
I feel a bit lost in the community sauce lol.
Where are my people?
I want to build my lighthouse, just don’t know where to build it.
Feeling like I have to be patient. Feeling like I’m glad I am writing this.
I have been lying to myself about social media. I have been telling myself false stories about success and using that to force myself to do things that I really do not enjoy.
I want to stop lying to myself. I want to stop telling stories that are harmful or hindering.
I want to go back to Zagreb and go to Kata brunch bar and get that little sandwich they make with the pepperoni in it.
Badly. What a beautiful, soulful and special place.
I am craving the kind of breakthrough that I had when I was there.
In Croatia.
I had never been so scared to travel somewhere before in my life.
I actually almost turned around and I didn’t get on the plane.
I remember sitting in my seat crying so much texting my partner telling her I was scared and I was crying.
It was a huge leap for me. Huge.
Croatia brought me a sense of myself and my own power that I had not necessarily been acquainted with in the way that I was during my time there.
I look back on it in this moment with such deep reverence in my heart.
If these words could feel… they’d feel it all. The wind, the sand, the mountains, the moon, the cheese, the olive oil, the salt, the lavender, the gelato, the pizza, the fish, the potatoes, the hugs, the blessings, the watermelon, the zoo, the walks, the rain, the solitude, the grocery store, the burger sauce, the sickness, the tears, the park, the buses, the seashells, the trust, the faith, the love, the connection, the pride, the wholeness, the revelations. The feeling of belonging and not having to prove it.
Hrvatska.
Whew.