Parables of B – Homecoming

How can I fully embrace this homecoming?

I am tired today. Very tired. Yesterday was a huge day and took a lot out of me. I realized that setting intentions and seeing them and accepting them as delivered… as real and as true… it’s hard for me and it takes a lot out of me LOL. Resistance is EXHAUSTING my friends. (Also that sentence with all the dots was even more of a mess before I re-read LOL that’s how tired I am.)

So that brings me to this question – how can I fully embrace this homecoming? I am coming home to my truth. Coming home to what’s inside. The true abundance and faith and pleasure and joy and this compassionate and full way of being and serving the world.

How can I fully embrace this homecoming? Faith. I feel like what I want to do is LESS. LOL do less. More rest, more reading, more coloring. More learning. It’s like… less inside the head and more with my body and soul. It’s happening for sure.

Yesterday was a true testament to that. But I also feel like I want to keep learning so I can keep sharing. To keep being in spaces and opportunities where I can learn and grow so I can continue to deepen my offerings.

Meditation for you is born. Find your Focus this Fall is out in the world. And I am wanting to be separate from it but also all I want to do is talk about it. LOL it’s a weird feeling. Ultimately resistance is separation. So that’s what that is. That’s showing up for me. Self-sabotage, not feeling like I am enough.

I am understanding how to build awareness and I am building that awareness now. The first step really. It’s just crazy to feel like I am at the FIRST STEP lol because I feel like I’ve been on this journey for a long time and I’ve been in my own life for almost 30 years now.

But yes, rest and reading. Learning and improving. Here are the things I want to read about and learn about:

Financial literacy – paying off debts, increasing cash flow, investing and building assets
Astrology – natal chart interpretation, planets and their meanings and how to understand planetary transits
Yoga – the ancient texts – the Sutras, the Upanishads, Vedas and the Bhagavad Gita
Meditation – the differences between Buddhist and Vedic/Hindu meditation – how meditation is used in Yoga
Piano – I want to continue to read music, play songs, play the piano pick up skills
Two Can Do – deepening my creative practice and allowing myself to research the origins of some of my influences

These things I really want to learn about. I like to do them with people. I like to learn alone and also I like to learn with other people. I want to learn from people who know more than me. I want to learn from people who know things in their own way so that I can experience my own way too.

I want to put rest back into my calendar. Because it frames my mind. This is what works for me. Framing my mind. It just works. And I actually feel that it’s connected to yoga. Because the process of living yoga is the process of stilling the mind. So I think first giving myself specific frames helps to still my mind because anything that doesn’t fit in the frame goes. And the frame still entertains infinite possibilities. That is a fact because one tiny thing is actually infinite. Which is AMAZING and also mind-blowing lol.

So how can I embrace this homecoming fully … by scheduling rest into my calendar. I am going to do that now, today. Today I will do that. I love being here and I love writing this. I love to be here with myself. Especially this morning. I haven’t even opened the curtains yet. It’s so nice to feel that because I have been waking up and doing a lot these days. Which also feels good. I suppose I am just grateful for this moment right now.

Rest. It feels restful. I am watching a show called the Duchess. I feel like I need to allow my intentions to be revealed you know? I feel like I have done the work of putting it out there. I am always skeptical with myself about if I am clear enough though … there’s still this part of me that’s like yeah but if you don’t SAYYYY the right thing it’s not going to work. So I think that’s still me trying to control in a way – feeling that I have ultimate control over things when I don’t. But allowing myself to be tricked into thinking I do by thinking that the way I say something is going to make the outcome magically different.

Hmm… still sticky. But yes I think fully embracing this homecoming is sending myself love whenever I can. Here’s something simple and tangible that I want to do. Whenever I touch, brush, wash, massage my hair I want to repeat loving and positive affirmations to myself. And the same with my face. I realized that those are times when I go into autopilot and who knows what the heck I am thinking about or saying to myself. So I want to do that. And I want to start using a couple of mudras as well. I also want to notice what I think about in the shower.

Those are definitely a way to start. I am sending so much love out into the universe right now.

Talk soon,

B-

** Photo credit goes to me and my good old selfie timer.

Past/Present/Future Parables

Octavia’s Parables :Parable of the Sower Podcast

What is your relationship to the stars?

What is your relationship to change?

What is your positive obsession?

What are your recurring dreams?

Tarot for the Wild Soul:

What am I being invited to come home to within myself?