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My mind is always reeling

Busy busy busy. I’m a busy bee. The routine is back! September is here and the routine is here to stay now.

And I’m thinking. My mind is reeling. Now I’m not sure if I’ve used that word correctly but it reminds me of a movie reel like they use in the theaters. It just keeps turning and turning slowly cranking away. That’s how I feel about my mind. Actually it’s like I have two minds.

I go through my busy days and do my tasks and try to focus as much as possible (I’m still working on that part). But in the back of my mind sits little (maybe not so little) mind number 2. And he (or she) is just workin’ away- he’s like a work horse!

So mind number 2 speaks up every once in a while. And sometimes he says intelligent things. Actually a lot of times he does. Tonight… I’m not so sure. Because I know he is being tempted by the temptress herself(Or himself)…

I’m thinkin’ about going back to my old ways but with a new outlook. I’m not sure if it’s a good idea but I said it out loud today so that kind of makes it real. An idea that I need to pay real attention to now ya know?

I also think mind 2 spends a lot of time thinking about my family because I have really hard days sometimes. Days where I miss them a tonnn. I think mind 2 is always thinking about it. Especially because every once in a while I cry. I just sit there and cry.

It’s sad and really hard. So I have to cry but it makes me wonder sometimes cuz it feels like it comes out of nowhere. Sneaky little mind.

Now this is also ironic because reel is the name of a dance in Irish Dancing. And anyone who knows me knows how obsessed I am with it. For those of you who don’t, the more you read the more you’ll know. So in that way my mind is always reeling because I’ve got dance on the brain nearly 24/7. My job just bareeeelyyyy distracts me enough so that I can focus on something else for a little.

It’s unbelievable. That’s why I love the movies. Because every now and again the girl needs a break from her mind.

And sometimes it all gets to be too much. Those are my quiet days. I am sooo in my head because there is too much to work out. And those days… Well those days are not fun for anyone. Not me nor the people around me who are close to me. We all pay for it because I just can’t seem to function properly till I sort it out.

There has been a lot of that in the past few years… Just quiet days and then some sort of resolution or plan. Sometimes it is a great big lightbulb moment and other times it’s just a… Well I’ll do that differently from now on.

The mind is a truly unbelievable thing. But it’s not the only thing. I we must all remember that.

Take time to focus on your body, on your soul, on your intuition. Keep them sharp so that your mind doesn’t take over. Ya dig?

It’s a work in progress.

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practicing how I want to be in life

B Source Library Articles

This is a collection of both an archive and present day musings. Archived stories of past B on the journey of evolution mixed in with current desires to share processes, thoughts, discoveries and tools used on the journey of self-discovery, creative embodiment and remembering my wholeness.