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I’m just a dreamer

Just this morning I had the most vivid dream I’ve had in a while. I’ll tell you about one that I always have and then I’ll tell you this mornings because that is more detailed.

Here is my recurring saga-

All of a sudden I’m running. I don’t know where I’m running to but I can’t stop because I haven’t ever felt this sense of urgency combined with fear in my life. As I’m running though… my teeth are falling out. I’m clutching my mouth trying to save them but it’s like gravity is just sucking them right out of my mouth and into the abyss behind me. The teeth are going, going gone. They are JUST GONE. They are flying everywhere and I can’t save them. I’m running, I’m panicking, my teeth are flying, my eyes are crying, my heart is pounding…

And then I wake up- I’ve never gotten to the point where I have no teeth. So don’t ask me about what would happen next because I have no idea.

Now THIS morning. Bright and early after I let the dog out, in my half sleep, I had this most vivid dreams. Do you ever get that? Those early morning half asleep/half awake dreams that are the most clear? Well this one was so loud I couldn’t believe I was asleep when I woke from it (it is a bit vulgar so be prepared ya’ll).

I’m getting ready. I have to go! I need to be at the studio and have enough time to practice before I have to leave for work. But I can’t – I’m trying to get dressed and my mom is blocking me. Not physically but some other way that I’m unaware of. But I know in my mind that it is her blocking me so I can’t go to the studio yet. I’m getting so anxious that I’m trying to run around and grab my things but the time seems to be flying at hyper speed and I’m stuck hitting the pause button.

Then as I feel like I’m ready to run out the door, whether I’m ready or not, my mother is there at the bottom of the stairs. We have a gate – like a baby gate- that we use for the dog. It’s open and she is standing there holding a little boy. I realize it’s my little brother. He’s 15 now but I see that he is clearly only a little boy – maybe about 3 or 4. She is holding him up and he is naked. Why is he naked I’m thinking? Why are they standing there? Why don’t they just LET ME GO! Then he starts to urinate. On the stairs. PEEING ON THE STAIRS. This is is surreal. How am I going to get down now and out the door? This obstacle is blocking my way and I start to panic. I look at the clock and it’s 7:47. It’s over, there’s no time. I start to cry.

And then my alarm goes off- 6:35 AM and I am up and at em. 15 minutes later I’m out the door on my way to the studio.

Thank god.

Dreams are funny. What in the world was that about?

 

In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “Sweet Dreams (Are Made of This).”

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practicing how I want to be in life

B Source Library Articles

This is a collection of both an archive and present day musings. Archived stories of past B on the journey of evolution mixed in with current desires to share processes, thoughts, discoveries and tools used on the journey of self-discovery, creative embodiment and remembering my wholeness.