LOL. I want to write this … in my head. But when I sit with myself I’m like yes I’ll accept this, that and the other in 10 years !!! Then I’ll write about acceptance.

No honestly that isn’t actually true. I have these wild moments, where I feel I can accept the truth of something in an instant. When Uncle Tommy died, I will never forget the moment of acceptance that I had with him.

At the wake I stood there for just a moment before they started to let everyone in. I looked at him and very deeply and truly felt the truth of this moment. He was dead and his body was being offered back to the Earth. There was nothing else and I had to accept because it was not going to change.

That felt like … a flood pouring deeply through me. Very deeply through me like a vortex or a black hole. In that moment I accepted. Embodied acceptance is what I feel it was when I look back on it.

My mind however, loooooool. Has spent this whole time, nearly 4 years, catching up with this. On repeat in my head I had dialogue around death and accepting that it was real and it is real and it will happen to all of us. It has been a truly transformative journey. And a really healthy one too if I’m honest.

Though I would give anything to have him back instead of all of this, I am learning how to embrace the truth of acceptance of what is happening while also allowing the journey to continue on the other planes of existence. Other aspects of my being … especially emotionally and mentally.

Learning how to nurture myself through my grief feels like the greatest act of acceptance I have done thus far.

Nourishment through acceptance. Embodied acceptance and gentleness with myself as everything catches up.