Communication is the effort so action can flow with ease.

Okay. I was expecting something. A meeting. It didn’t happen. I have consciously worked with the idea of this meeting and this relationship specifically. Specifically! Because this is a relationship that I thought and subsequently felt that I would really enjoy.

I decided I would let myself go through this experience to learn about expectation. I told myself this morning that I would go into this meeting without expectation. The meeting didn’t happen.

There’s a few problems with this. The first one… I had an expectation that the meeting would happen LOL. And therein lies the greatest and first expectation. That a certain thing will happen. Wow. How mind blowing for me honestly.

I was so concerned about what would happen at the meeting and how it would happen and I spent my effort on managing and sitting with and allowing and transmuting feelings and relationships around expectations within those spheres that I missed the most foundational one.

So I am sitting with that at present. Especially since I moved things around and spent so much energy on managing the elements of this and my contribution to this meeting. LOL I have to laugh about it now because I assumed it would happen and then I went on and on to all the possibilities.

And so … how often do I do this about things in life? ??

To the point where I am living out the potential outcomes of the expectations of these agendas before the things even happen! And sometimes the things DON’T EVEN HAPPEN LOL.

Wow.

Second problem … I heard myself say that I should have reached out to readjust anyway for other reasons. Mainly ease of action and honoring my present situation whilst holding space and importance for what had been agreed upon. Why is this a problem? Because I didn’t do it out of a fear of what the perception would be. What would they think of me? How could I think I could have my cake and eat it too?

There goes problem three … I mistake having ease in action in my life, with my days flowing from one thing to the next without compromise, for having my cake and eating it too.

I am deep into my own personal journey of alignment. And the surprises, the revelations, the discoveries, the rediscoveries, the joys, the suffering, is endless. It is also life giving because it is. Life. It is life.

Okay … so in my upset about this meeting, I realized many things. Thank you. It’s also okay not to respond right away. Relationships eh?

However … I love this line that came out in my emotional response… “Communication is the effort so action can flow with ease.”

Yes. Thank you.

B-