What have been the greatest challenges in your personal and emotional life? What has challenged you most financially? – A Year to Get Rich with Purpose Day 261 (Daily OM)

LOL okay I have to just call myself out here. Because I come on here all excited to write and then the FIRST thing I do after I set up the post – after I tag it – is GO ON FACEBOOK AND INSTAGRAM !!!!!

COME ON B. I still have this weird thing about procrastination. Even if it’s only for a few minutes it’s like I have to shift my mind into the numbness of scrolling for a minute. Or not… idk. I go on Instagram these days because I feel that my feed is finally aligned with the messages I want to see. Normally the second I go on it I see a few accounts that post messages I really like to read. I read them and then I leave.

So anyway – I have been working through this course from Daily Om – A Year to Get Rich with Purpose – and it’s been super interesting. I receive a little message or quote or few questions each day that have been shaped around monthly and weekly themes and focuses and then I take whatever time I take to ponder or write about them.

I read this morning’s post and thought to myself – I want to write about that. This week the focus is on finding gratitude through appreciating challenge.

Also random side note – but I am getting a piano this week and I am honestly SO FREAKING EXCITED. I was trying to stop myself from doing it but THIS is something I’ve wanted to do forever. To have a piano, to get back into learning it and to play it whenever I want. I am v excited for this journey.

So… appreciating challenge, today’s prompt ended with the two questions above.

Also interesting – defining the word challenge. They defined it in a few different ways and a couple of them were in the vein of competition. This is important for me to note. For myself. But if you’re here – thanks for reading this too lol.

I want to define it myself-

CHALLENGE – n. – a tangible or intangible task or series of tasks that can be defined or undefined and seem to stir up resistance or a necessity to build new skills or perspective

Welllllllllllluhhhhhhh. You wanna see the ones they gave? I do. I want them back now because I feel that it’s important to note the difference. And also to reflect on what we are given as fodder for our minds.

1. a call to take part in a contest or competition,
especially a duel. “he accepted the challenge”

Synonyms: dare, provocation, summons

2. a task or situation that tests someone’s abilities.
“the ridge is a challenge for experienced climbers”

Synonyms: problem, test, trial

3. an attempt to win a contest or
championship in a sport. “a world title challenge”

Sooooo interesting isn’t it?!! I wonder if they got those from Webster’s dictionary. Either way – I reject them. So maybe if that’s the original connotation I have been raised with of a challenge – then I reject that notion now because I do not like competition and I do not like comparison. I struggle a lot with comparison. I would say that has been a source of some of my biggest personal and emotional challenges in my life.

AND financial actually.

Here’s something I am thinking – what really is the difference between our personal, emotional and financial lives? They are all the same and so interconnected. So no I don’t want to have challenges because they feel like competitions where I have to compare myself as a motivation to triumph and it feels like triumph is the goal.

It’s time to redefine my perspective by choosing my language on purpose.

That’s something that I am coming around to consciously. Subconsciously it’s like DUHHHHHH any time you’ve ever had the chance you have defined things for yourself. Your own beliefs, your own ideas, your own definitions of things. It’s a MUST if I want to be able to be in the world as my truest self. For me anyway. But I feel that the process of choosing things on purpose – whether it’s a belief or a definition we were given by someone else or one we make up ourselves – I feel it’s time for me to remember that I can choose things on purpose.

So I want to allow myself to accept challenge as an inevitable part of life. This is truth, I believe it is. But I believe that I was taking on a definition of challenge like the ones up there – something to test you, put you in a position to prove yourself – no bueno.

Alright – so what happens now then? Challenge –

CHALLENGE – n. – a tangible or intangible task or series of tasks that can be defined or undefined and seem to stir up resistance or a necessity to build new skills or perspective

I also want to edit this ^^^ because that is how I feel about it now. But I said – I WANT to accept challenge as a part of life and I want to allow myself to be in this world with as little resistance as possible. Because quite frankly – I notice that the more I resist the things I fear, the more I also resist and block myself from amazing things too.

Tired of that. Do you ever just get so tired of yourself? And it’s not that I am tired of me, who I am. I’m tired of the way I’ve been carrying on in the world. When the clothes just don’t fit right and they haven’t for a long time but you refuse to get rid of them because you don’t know what else you’d wear and you’re afraid to spend the money because maybe it’s not worth it.

It’s too much for me lol. And let’s just say Cancer season ending with New Moon in Cancer SET ME UP for a lovely explosion of tears and revelations lol. Ones that I’ve had many times before mind you. But this one felt like – I could hear the true call of my voice when I heard myself say – I AM TIRED OF CHANGING MYSELF AND LEARNING TO NOT LIKE MYSELF TO PLEASE OTHER PEOPLE.

I said more than that and also I didn’t actually say it in those words because I definitely forgot how I said it exactly lol BUT that was the gist of it. And the cry came out so deeply in a voice that I couldn’t recognize completely as “my own” but I knew it was coming from the deepest place. And that it was my truth.

A lot of things are going to shed because of this. I am ready for it now and also excited about it. In the recent past – during Corona times actually – I have connected and reconnected with a few people who have provided SUCH … value in my life. I am so grateful to these people. I have thrown myself into things I really want to learn about and I am grateful for that too.

LOL I was going somewhere with all of this and I went off on a tangent. I suppose I found my gratitude through appreciating the challenge though EH?! WOW how flipping beautiful is that.

CHALLENGE – n. (2020 and beyond) – a welcomed opportunity to expand that when approached without resistance is actually a blessing

CHALLENGE – n. (2020 and beyond) – a disguise. – Resistance is the true challenge.

BOOM. Wow. Delighted.

CHALLENGE – n. (2020 and beyond) – a blessing.

 

CHALLENGE – see also – resistance and fear.

CHALLENGE – synonyms – blessing

 

Alright that’s probably enough – I am excited to share more about what I am learning though. I have been studying Human Design, Astrology, Financial Literacy, Ayurveda, Neuroscience(mostly how we think and talk to ourselves), Yoga and Meditation for a long time in many different ways – but it has all become more concentrated in the past few months. I want to share. No more fears of that. So maybe that will come soon.

 

Talk soon,

 

B-

PS. The title for this post came after I finished it – kind of cool =) lots of times I write the title first

You can find out more about this course here.

** Photo Credit goes to the incredible FullOut Creative