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Love and desire
Well I remember being told that if you love someone you do things for them and with them even if you don’t want to. Because it doesn’t take much to make their day. And how much can it really hurt you to do that for them? So … love is doing things you don’t want…
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On the one hand
Awh man I really do feel the pressure of words sometimes. And you know what else ? Proof. Proving things. And the paradox of life. On the one hand I am an investigator. On the other hand I have nothing to prove. On the one hand I am an inquirer. On the other hand I…
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Past Me
Past me was worried about money, so she took things on to ensure that it would come. That she could make it. Present me is tired. And has to live through past me’s decisions. Past me thought this would solve the problem. Present me knows the problem isn’t money, it is feeling lack. Or lack…
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Internal torture
Sometimes I feel an internal agitation, chaos and torture inside. I am reminded now of my work with entropy. I was talking about it. In 2022. Sometimes I just feel really uncomfortable. I have a desire to expand my capacity to sit with discomfort. And to be uncomfortable. In these times, it feels like there…
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When I do this
When I do this, it is for me. I love that about this. It is for me. I can rest in it. Inadvertently it might be for others. We are all connected. But when I do this, it is for me. Thank you.
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Oh what a year it has been
2022. The unexpected. A life lived through solo eternity. A life lived through eternal longing self-acceptance and loss. Lots of loss. Pain with loss and grief that has been waiting to be felt. Letting go of things I thought were me. Letting go of things I thought were my life. Saying hello to parts of…
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Adulthood
I really want to connect this to my podcast because this is what I want to talk about on this week’s episode. We shall see. I came across a post today that someone said, ‘I am 21 now and I realize I am a fully-fledged adult.’ It struck me. 21 was just over 10 years…
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Layers
There are so many layers to being here. Here in this life, here on this planet, here in this body. I love words so much and yet sometimes they fail me. Sometimes they aren’t good enough. And at times they really feel like… I don’t have the depth to comprehend them. So do I really…
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Sometimes
Sometimes I feel like you all failed. Sometimes I feel like I was deceived. Sometimes I feel like you lied. Sometimes I want to hate you. Sometimes I want to cry. Sometimes I do. Sometimes I can’t believe how we got here. Sometimes I am reminded of how I could see it so clearly. Sometimes…
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What is the point?
Now I don’t feel sad about this. Or morbid about it either. I feel so deeply curious that sometimes the curiosity tips the scale into desperation. Then I am reminded that I may never know theeeee point or I may not find out until I die. So then I back off. But what if I…
