I’m just a dreamer

Just this morning I had the most vivid dream I’ve had in a while. I’ll tell you about one that I always have and then I’ll tell you this mornings because that is more detailed.

Here is my recurring saga-

All of a sudden I’m running. I don’t know where I’m running to but I can’t stop because I haven’t ever felt this sense of urgency combined with fear in my life. As I’m running though… my teeth are falling out. I’m clutching my mouth trying to save them but it’s like gravity is just sucking them right out of my mouth and into the abyss behind me. The teeth are going, going gone. They are JUST GONE. They are flying everywhere and I can’t save them. I’m running, I’m panicking, my teeth are flying, my eyes are crying, my heart is pounding…

And then I wake up- I’ve never gotten to the point where I have no teeth. So don’t ask me about what would happen next because I have no idea.

Now THIS morning. Bright and early after I let the dog out, in my half sleep, I had this most vivid dreams. Do you ever get that? Those early morning half asleep/half awake dreams that are the most clear? Well this one was so loud I couldn’t believe I was asleep when I woke from it (it is a bit vulgar so be prepared ya’ll).

I’m getting ready. I have to go! I need to be at the studio and have enough time to practice before I have to leave for work. But I can’t – I’m trying to get dressed and my mom is blocking me. Not physically but some other way that I’m unaware of. But I know in my mind that it is her blocking me so I can’t go to the studio yet. I’m getting so anxious that I’m trying to run around and grab my things but the time seems to be flying at hyper speed and I’m stuck hitting the pause button.

Then as I feel like I’m ready to run out the door, whether I’m ready or not, my mother is there at the bottom of the stairs. We have a gate – like a baby gate- that we use for the dog. It’s open and she is standing there holding a little boy. I realize it’s my little brother. He’s 15 now but I see that he is clearly only a little boy – maybe about 3 or 4. She is holding him up and he is naked. Why is he naked I’m thinking? Why are they standing there? Why don’t they just LET ME GO! Then he starts to urinate. On the stairs. PEEING ON THE STAIRS. This is is surreal. How am I going to get down now and out the door? This obstacle is blocking my way and I start to panic. I look at the clock and it’s 7:47. It’s over, there’s no time. I start to cry.

And then my alarm goes off- 6:35 AM and I am up and at em. 15 minutes later I’m out the door on my way to the studio.

Thank god.

Dreams are funny. What in the world was that about?


In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “Sweet Dreams (Are Made of This).”


Of Flattery

I’m just thinking about how that makes me feel. Being imitated. I used to get so annoyed with it. I don’t find it to be the highest form of flattery. Well at least I didn’t until I really started exploring the creative arts. I remember when I was growing up someone would come to school with a really cool pair of sneakers or a really nice dress and then all of a sudden within the following weeks everyone else was wearing it too. Isn’t that how trends start? How information gets passed on?

8 year old me didn’t care about that! She just wanted everyone to stop wearing the same dress as her because that was the dress that her mom bought her, specially for her. That was hers and why was everyone else trying to look like her? They were just jealous she thought.

If I could go back and talk to little B I would tell her that she hadn’t a clue about just how flattering that is. And that she would be doing it too! When you do something that people admire, whether it is because it is beautiful, creative or bold, (whatever the reason really!) people will pick up on it. They will want to learn about it and embrace it, they will imitate it because it is valuable information that is meant to be passed on.

This is how things work in the arts. If any artist, dancer, singer, songwriter, graphic designer, whatever – thinks that they are creating something completely new and original they are wrong. I want to tell you a story.

I made a piece of art. I worked with some amazing people. I can never thank them enough. We created magic together. I felt like it was my baby. My brain child. It was because I had spent so much time on it and really taken the inspiration to heart. I had made it my own and it had my stamp on it. The piece touched a lot of hearts. It made a difference and I was so happy. 

And then it happened. Someone presented a similar piece of art on a similar if not larger platform and I was upset. Why were they copying me? This was my great work and with our stamp on it, not for anyone else to recreate.

::cue reality check:: I was chasing after something that I wasn’t actually entitled to. I did not invent the wheel. I realized after the fact with some time to think that this art was only the way it was because of everything that has existed prior to it’s creation. Where did the ideas come from? The people who helped ? My inspiration and my interpretation? The combination is unique but the ingredients are timeless, never to be invented again but constantly reinvented. 

It was humbling. It was my little piece of genius, influenced by the past lives of everyone and everything that served to be a part of it’s existence. 

I learned a lot from that experience. I want to be a really good reinventor – educated in imitating. So much so that I am continuously able to rejig the ingredients of life to keep creating my art. I am grateful to my inspirations. 

They say that imitation is the highest form. Of flattery that is. What do you think? Has this happened to you?

Thank you Of Opinions for the inspiration =)

In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “The Sincerest Form of Flattery.”