Tag: relationships

  • Sometimes

    Sometimes I feel like you all failed. Sometimes I feel like I was deceived. Sometimes I feel like you lied. Sometimes I want to hate you. Sometimes I want to cry. Sometimes I do. Sometimes I can’t believe how we got here. Sometimes I am reminded of how I could see it so clearly. Sometimes…

  • On the wings

    I still see you bouncing up and down on the wings of the plane. They always seat me at or near the wing. I can always see it. I appreciate that. It makes me feel as though that connection is still there for me. It’s wild that we haven’t spoken at all really in the…

  • Still rolling…

    So I did the thing. I did the thing I was a bit nervous about. Life really does move on and change and grow. It really does. No doubt about it. I am so amazed to think about how my experience of the last 24 hours has allowed me to realize how much I have…

  • Shame in being different.

    The other day I wrote about how I know that I need to do things my own way. Today it hit me that I actually have a lot of shame in that. I harbor a lot of shame about being “different” and so that is in direct opposition to the core of my purpose which…

  • Every day doesn’t have to sound a certain way.

    I feel tired of having to be this person that others think I am. There’s something that seems to have been learned in me that says – don’t call anyone unless you are in a good mood. And if they call you, make sure you sound happy so you can make them happy. Oh it…

  • Someone cares about my human experience

    I received a letter this evening. From a supporter of my choreography. I would consider him a friend now in a way. He has been so supportive from the moment he entered into my artistic world and the support seems to be unending. He is my pen pal I think. I would say so yes.…

  • Shower thoughts and showers of thoughts

    I learn a lot about myself, but how much do I experience of myself? OHHH man some days I can’t stop crying. Some days I just can’t stop. I feel that I don’t cry enough on a regular basis or something because it comes in floods and then it helps SO MUCH. I have so…

  • So where did you go?

    I feel you, I go back to that moment when you touched my shoulder and you said, “I’m gonna get drunk at your house on Christmas.” Weren’t we all so desperate to recreate Thanksgiving? That longing for belonging. I can’t be sure, but I think that the alcohol killed you as much as it soothed…

  • Pulling the hair out of my mouth

    Come out: emerge, become known. Coming out to myself seems to be the thing – the thing I keep doing over and over and over again. As I continue to peel back the layers of what I seem to be wearing on top of the truth. I had a dream last night that I was…

  • Feelings I love

    The other day as I was meditating, a memory flashed into my mind about a January day in 2017. I was on my way back to Ireland after a 5 week stay at home for the holidays. I had just finished my Masters and was celebrating that accomplishment. I was also in love. Deeply in…