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To my beloved Grandfather
My knees were hurting me for weeks… Now that you are gone all I can think about is how you used to say, “I got old legs…” I don’t really drink anymore, but recently we went to the liquor store and they put all the bottles into paper bags. It makes me think of your…
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Readiness
Readiness has come over me like a wave that comes crashing down upon the shore, like bread toasting in the toaster, like the sunset on a hot summer day. I could feel it coming and the whole time I was becoming ready. Readiness has pieces and parts like a pizza has a crust, sauce, cheese…
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Missing my guardian angel
Gosh. Goodness. Goodness gracious ouch. I didn’t know what it would really be like to miss you. Not like I do now. I remember things. I remember things. I remember things and I am so glad I remember things. I remember you told me… “if you fall on your ass we’ll be there.” I remember…
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To my beloved momma
I ache with deep love for you. If I could rid you of your suffering I would. Sometimes I feel I would take it on. Sometimes I feel I would actually take it on so you didn’t have to. And I realize that I have always tried, to protect you. My love for you runs…
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The unexpected
I am so afraid of breaking the rules sometimes that it is paralyzing. What if I get in trouble? What if something happens? I really feel that the mind, in my mind, it is TERRIFYING to think of breaking the rules. And yet, in so many aspects of my life and in so many decisions…
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Today
Today I pretended it was yesterday so I could catch up. Today I pretended it was yesterday so I could catch up. Today I pretended it was yesterday so I could catch up. Today I pretended it was yesterday so I could catch up. Today I pretended it was yesterday so I could catch up.…
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Uncertainty
It is okay for me to love you and be unsure of what to do with that love. It is okay to not act upon my uncertainty so I can support myself to stay with what is being brought up by it. It is okay to love you and not do anything about it. Except…
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My needs
I have been mulling this over for a while now. Over time I have been coming to a realization that I neglect, minimize, rush through or completely ignore my needs. Now that I am able to see this, I am also having feelings about it. Sadness is one and anger another. Loss and grief as…
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Expansion… and grief.
I am working on an article about Pluto in Capricorn, which I am really excited about. But I realize it might take me some time so I decided to share a bit today anyway, to keep my daily commitment to showing up and writing or speaking or updating my website. This week has been ……
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A letter to my mind
To my beloved mind… I remember reading once that asking you to stop thinking would be like asking my heart to stop beating. I would never do that, I want to be here. So … why does it feel this way with you my dear mind? Things that go on in there feel out of…
