Weird II Beautiful

Am I going through the motions or being present in the moment? Going with the flow or riding the wave?

It felt surreal to be on the plane all night. And when we landed in Dublin this morning I felt … weird. I usually feel relieved and excited and so many things, that’s just naming a couple. But today I felt nothing. So I don’t think I actually felt weird but I only felt weird in retrospect or in absence of feeling other things I used to feel. So that’s it. I felt nothing but also because of that I have a feeling that this is one step closer to feeling everything – as in every single second – the presence of the present.

I felt nothing but also nothing stopped me then from being here. With me.

The line for customs was long. But luckily I had some reading material. It was a long message from a caring and loving friend. The message stirred up a lot for me and today, until now, I felt the dust has been settling. So what has started to come through, written in the dust reminds me that what we feel and what we interpret are different.

Feeling present and being present are different than labelling what we are feeling in order to understand it, inevitably in the past.

So in my bed on my own tonight, I am left with this and it’s a start.

I should also mention that this friend is not the only friend who reached out to me just to see how I am doing. So thank you to all of the beautiful people, who felt my message. It was for us.



Of Flattery

I’m just thinking about how that makes me feel. Being imitated. I used to get so annoyed with it. I don’t find it to be the highest form of flattery. Well at least I didn’t until I really started exploring the creative arts. I remember when I was growing up someone would come to school with a really cool pair of sneakers or a really nice dress and then all of a sudden within the following weeks everyone else was wearing it too. Isn’t that how trends start? How information gets passed on?

8 year old me didn’t care about that! She just wanted everyone to stop wearing the same dress as her because that was the dress that her mom bought her, specially for her. That was hers and why was everyone else trying to look like her? They were just jealous she thought.

If I could go back and talk to little B I would tell her that she hadn’t a clue about just how flattering that is. And that she would be doing it too! When you do something that people admire, whether it is because it is beautiful, creative or bold, (whatever the reason really!) people will pick up on it. They will want to learn about it and embrace it, they will imitate it because it is valuable information that is meant to be passed on.

This is how things work in the arts. If any artist, dancer, singer, songwriter, graphic designer, whatever – thinks that they are creating something completely new and original they are wrong. I want to tell you a story.

I made a piece of art. I worked with some amazing people. I can never thank them enough. We created magic together. I felt like it was my baby. My brain child. It was because I had spent so much time on it and really taken the inspiration to heart. I had made it my own and it had my stamp on it. The piece touched a lot of hearts. It made a difference and I was so happy. 

And then it happened. Someone presented a similar piece of art on a similar if not larger platform and I was upset. Why were they copying me? This was my great work and with our stamp on it, not for anyone else to recreate.

::cue reality check:: I was chasing after something that I wasn’t actually entitled to. I did not invent the wheel. I realized after the fact with some time to think that this art was only the way it was because of everything that has existed prior to it’s creation. Where did the ideas come from? The people who helped ? My inspiration and my interpretation? The combination is unique but the ingredients are timeless, never to be invented again but constantly reinvented. 

It was humbling. It was my little piece of genius, influenced by the past lives of everyone and everything that served to be a part of it’s existence. 

I learned a lot from that experience. I want to be a really good reinventor – educated in imitating. So much so that I am continuously able to rejig the ingredients of life to keep creating my art. I am grateful to my inspirations. 

They say that imitation is the highest form. Of flattery that is. What do you think? Has this happened to you?

Thank you Of Opinions for the inspiration =)

In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “The Sincerest Form of Flattery.”

A big kid trapped in a little kid’s body

In a reversal of Big, the Tom Hanks classic from the 80s, your adult self is suddenly locked in the body of a 12-year-old kid. How do you survive your first day back in school?

It’s simple. That’s how I feel now. But I would eat a LOT more ice cream. And the amount of pizza that I actually want to eat. Living out my childhood daydreams basically. School might be rough, even though I’d probably be a super genius. At lunch I would make sure to play cops and robbers, just like I did with I was actually 12. It’s nice to run around outside at lunch. The rest of the day would probably bore me since I am actually an adult, but I love to people watch, especially kids. So that would occupy my day. After school though… a massive pizza and ice cream party. I can’t think of anything else really. That is ideal.

Inspired by The Daily Post