The more you do, the less you know, the more your curiosity can grow.
This morning I meditated for a long time. I don’t usually do that but this morning I just let them keep playing. I went back to a past life. I also went to the future. I went deep with in to connect with my spirit guide. It was all crazy.
I came out of it and I wrote that up there ^^. Every Sunday I just write what I am thinking about in a journal – I call it ideation. Is that a word? It didn’t get underlined red so I suppose it is!! I do that anyway… every Sunday. And this morning after my lengthy meditation I wrote about what I call the Ultimate 100.
So what does it take to realize your potential? We are all infinite. I believe this. If we don’t continue to expand what happens? Well expansion is only expansion relative to it’s direct opposite, right? Maybe not right. But I think so. I know expansion through knowing contraction. So basically then I started thinking… if I’m not expanding what am i doing? It might feel like I’m stagnating but I think that what I’m doing is contracting , even if it’s ever so slowly. Because what happens when you kind of get comfortable and then the next thing comes along that asks you to expand out? Ohhhh it feels harder. Doesn’t it? It just feels a little bit like… ehhhh idk if I want to do that.
So basically then in order to keep expanding – well… rate of change! Rate of change. So if I’m expanding at a constant rate… or if I remain at a constant expanded place… Oh wow. There goes the fear coming in. Even in writing about constantly expanding I am afraid to admit that this is what we are meant to do. I literally rewrote my thought to say remaining at a constant expanded place. That just isn’t possible. Because to maintain the status quo you’d have to be constantly changing. And so if i want to remain at a constant expanded place – I basically would need to be continuously monitoring what I am expanding to and contracting to at the same time. And contract away from something if I am expanding too much… in order to remain in that constant place. The place that stays the same on the outside but on the inside is always changing.
Well what about the place that is always changing on the inside and on the outside is expanding into a bigger and more open version of itself. Becoming itself.
How does a seed become a flower? Honestly. That blows my mind. We are all a seed. And if we don’t constantly grow then we die. So back to this idea of going deep.
Do you ever just feel like the more you do something or the more you learn about something… then the less you actually feel like you know what you’re doing or what you know?
Well then … this can be discouraging. I used to let it discourage me so much in the studio as a kid/teen. LOL Keen. I just had to write that because sometimes my brain just smushes words together and I don’t usually write them down but like… Sunday Stories deserve stories.
Anyway I used to get so upset if I would get really into something and then hit that place or those places of questioning and of really microscopically examining things. I would just think that everything had gone to h-e-double hockey sticks (hell) and basically that I wasn’t actually any good at dancing at all.
Man how wrong was that? I actually was just getting deeper into my practice and really getting into the guts of what makes the thing work. So what I wish that I could do (and I did this in my meditation) – is just go back to little B and tell her that instead of letting it discourage her… she should let her curiosity grow.
The deeper we go, the less we know… the more our curiosity SHOULD grow.
I am grateful for this piece of information. Because to be honest I know that life isn’t always going to be rainbows and butterflies and happy lovey days. But it sure as hell can be interesting and fulfilling and just flipping unbelievable. Curiosity drives that. And I know that my curiosity drives me more than ti ever has now, as it has in times in my life where I allowed myself to just live.
Be curious B. That’s what I want to say. Let yourself be curious, B. And anyone else out there who needs to hear this. Hear it loud and clear. DO NOT BE DISCOURAGED. BE CURIOUS.