I have a dark cloud hanging over me these days. It’s been hard coming home to the realities of my family dynamic. I had an experience last week with a family member that left me feeling so upset – for the next two days I was upset and very sensitive to everything around me. I could have cried at a pin drop.
So I finally exploded and let it all out, thank god for one of my most trusted listeners at the time, and have decided it is time to speak up. And to say no… no thank you, this conversation is hurting me. (Wish it was as easy as that pic up there ^^)
I am so scared to do this. The relationship is already a bit rocky because patterns have been established that are unhealthy for me but they have been the status quo for a very long time. But being in these situations is actually starting to hurt me. A beautiful, wise woman in my life told me last week that we should never let anyone cause our hearts to hurt, no matter who they are.
So it is time to speak up and say that I am hurting and that I would like it to be stopped because I need these wounds to heal. I am planning on having the conversation soon (ie tomorrow) but I am nervous. I don’t want to say too much but I also don’t want a fake resolution.
Recently I have been doing a lot of spiritual reading and working on connecting with what is important to me. I am learning to leave the rest up to the universe because the plan is much bigger than I could ever fabricate.
Here we go:
Thank you for allowing me to find the way to communicate my thoughts and feelings. I am ready to learn through love and I am ready to surrender what I cannot control to the greater plan that is unfolding and to trust that I will be guided.
Here’s to hoping =)