How did I get here?

Wowwwww. That saying… when it rains it pours. Right? Well how about the sequel… when it’s already pouring why don’t you just go on and pour a bucket of water over your head…. you’re already soaked right?

Yep. So I saw the colors of my frequency the other day and they are absolutely gorgeous, in my opinion of course. Bronze and Magenta, very glittery and rich grains of energy. And all mine. Since then, I have been having this feeling like the whispers in my head are ready for me to act on them. I know this might all sound crazy, but when you are empathic, it makes a person hypersensitive to the flow of energy around them.

So anyway, needless to say I am here now, after having made a few huge decisions and now attempting to live through the consequences. Rock bottom is an understatement of how I feel and where I am at. But it’s strangely comforting down here. Have you ever had that feeling?

You see in this experience I had a few thoughts. I’m not sure how the best way is to share them because I know that As much as I am capable of thinking, my processing power is way slower than my thinking power. So its like… one thought at a time B, right?

Alright so anyway my first question is … how did I get here? How did I get so low that I literally can’t do anything else but see that there has to be a way up from here.

The funny thing is that I made choices to get me to feeling this way. Why would anyone do such a thing? Well here’s the follow up… the thought…

Do what you know is right.

The consequences are just a shift in the trajectory of your path based on the decision you made. If you know it’s right then let the sh*t times roll on if you have to. And you will know what is right and when it is right. That’s what my mentor tells me anyway so I’m working on that.

This is life and life is real and sometimes life feels bad. But life doesn’t happen unless you make it happen. Choose things that allow you to have more life. When things happen to you, those happenings are consequences. No matter how good or bad they are, do your best to make sure that you can sit with them knowing you made the right choice for yourself at the end of the day.

It’s not easy for me to deal with myself and the life I am living and creating, never mind love and comfort myself when the consequences take a turn for the worse.  So sometimes I just have to sit with it and feel bad. I realized this week when I did that, that the only way is up now.

That realization both scares me and gives me comfort. So that’s better than nothing because I know it’s real.

Talk soon

B-

Spotlight on Dublin Dance Festival

 

Watch that ^. Just watch that and let yourself feast on the beauty of it. This week I have been volunteering at the Dublin Dance Festival  (DDF) and I was lucky enough to be able to sit in on the screening of Alonzo King’s Constellation. Mr. King himself gave a post-show talk as well and what he gave me was perspective.

I am always looking for ways to broaden my perspective and expand my mind. I got absolutely sucked into this work for an hour and a half. I allowed it to soothe my soul, to trigger my senses and to allow my thoughts to wander freely for the first time in a good while.

The dance brought my mind to a meditative place. A place where thoughts could pass while my body and soul were engaged in the passion, beauty and purity of what my eyes were seeing.

The relationship between the music and the movement is what allowed those thoughts to pass – there was a complexity in what I was seeing that connected deeply with me. Mr. King touched upon this in his post-show talk, mentioning that the world we live in is all music and our bodies get lost in music and sound from the minute we are born. What we do as we go through life is learn to shut it out and what he has done here is brought it back to life and to see how life is music. His company looks like the way the world looks, which is something he is very proud of and it shows through his work and his speech.

The most striking thing to me was their absolutely undeniable accuracy and clarity in expressing their movements. It is truly inspiring in a world where we are constantly trying to figure out how to express ourselves, who we are and what is the best way to share that. To see artists who have reached the near pinnacle of accuracy in expressing themselves and their dance, is a privilege.

What my life has revealed to me lately is compounded tenfold in reflecting on this performance: perspective and intention can reveal a lot about ourselves, to both ourselves and to others.

More on this in time. And if you are interested in more about DDF  feel free to check out the program and buy tickets!

Talk soon,

B-

Photo credit: Dublin Dance Festival Website