OH MY GOODNESSSSSS

OH MY GOODNESS… OHHHHH wow. How has it been SO LONG. I do adore writing. I really do. But there are certain things- only a few of them, that allow me to really llllliiiiiveeee and explore my life and myself. Here they are:

  • Dancing
  • Painting/drawing
  • Writing
  • Baking

BUTTTTT, I’ve always known this, butttttt I can’t seem to ever do them all at the same time! It is usually one at a time or mayyybee two. Recently I’ve been dancing/directing a piece so I am SO preoccupied with dance that the writing just falls to the side. See they all make me feel the same way … it’s like a release. An escape and just a sense of really living and being myself. So there isn’t enough of me to go around when it comes to these four things.

I have been coloring a bit as well lately but that honestly is all. I’ve been writing in my own journal but I haven’t been on here. Because this … sucks the life out of me in the best way. Same as dancing does. They just cannot coincide equally in my life at the moment.

Today is my only day off from dancing in ages and of course I get this urge to come on here and spit out whatever my brain has cooked up.

But I have to say I am SOOOO nervous. This weekend we have a massive competition. And last night we did a run through performance of it. I swear I thought I was going to get sick. I felt … nervous and full of adrenaline, I also wanted to cry at a few points and my stomach was going CRAZY. That nervous/tingly/adrenaline feeling is absolutely insane. It’s like an out-of-body experience almost.

I’m not even performing and I am so nervous about it. Because I am also so EXCITED. Excited-nervousness is so strong. It makes the heartbeat pound and just everything heightens. That is how I felt last night and how I will feel on Sunday for the actual competition. But honestly… I’ve been faced with this kind of feeling SO many times in my life now, and nothing is more driving.

This time around is different because instead of it being me going up on stage, I have to sit back and watch the work I have put in unfold before my eyes. And … there is nothing I can do to control what happens on the day. ULTIMATE TRUST. Writing about it now is enough to pump my heart rate into oblivion.

The day is near and I cannot wait. I just hope I don’t eat too much, just in case lol =)

Inspired by the Daily Post

 

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