I am so DESPERATE.I have to say I am feeling so desperate. WHERE IS THE SLEEP!?! THERE IS NO TIME FOR SLEEP ANYMORE!
My left eye has been twitching since the middle of August. I hate my former self right now for talking about how GREAT it would be to get back into the fall routine and what routine brings and blahblah.
Though… LIGHTBULB… I actually don’t feel like I have any routine at the moment. I just keep adding projects on to my life. There is a phrase here in Ireland and it goes: “It’s all go” … meaning… everything is CRAZY. Well thats what I think. And that’s also how I feel. Every day I wake up to go to work and I am so tired. The sun isn’t even up half the time anymore and that makes it even harder to get up. When I get out of work I have barely 2 hours to myself before I either need to be at rehearsals or dance class or the gym and it is NUTSO. Absolutely nuts. It’s amazing but I am also getting SOOOO tired.
My body is physically able. I am doing it all. But inside my head I am crying because I just want to sleep.
I’ve had a pounding headache since I woke up and I just drank a Lemsip for the paracetamol ahaha what has everything come to!
Being busy is so good and I am doing all the things I love … almost all of the time. So it really is wonderful and I am surrounded by so many great people and all of that, but WHERE IS THE SLEEP. Seriously.
I am living for the weekend now because I just want to lie in my bed and sleep for 12/13 hours if I want to. To be honest it won’t even be a matter of wants anymore. It is a matter of pure necessity. If I don’t rest soon I think that the next time someone approaches me they are just going to get : falsdkjfslkdfjslkj or ( ) <– gibberish or a whole buncha nothing (obvs).
My body is sore in places that I haven’t felt soreness … basically ever. These tiny little crevices of my shoulder blades or my elbows are actually sore… SORE. What is that? It’s the lack of sleep. Has to be. Who gets a sore funny bone from the gym? Nobody. Just a tired little lump on the side of the road trying to get through the days without cracking. Aka me.
I made a pizza last night after rehearsals… I don’t know how I had the energy to do it but my belly rules my life so I mustered up the strength. When it was done I took it out and tried to cut it in half. It proceeded to break apart into a million pieces … the entire center just separated itself from the outside of the pizza. So instead of having two halfs I had two outlines … two C shapes basically… and then two smaller semi circles… with cheesy saucy vegetably mess everywhere. In the process of cutting the pizza I burned my hand on the rack twice and I also proceeded to nearly eat tin foil because it was stuck to the bottom and I nearly didn’t realize it. I had to give up. I had to walk away because I was genuinely on the verge of tears.
Thank god Elayne was there or I would have just left the pizza there to rot over night and went to bed starving and depressed and probably with salty ridiculous tears running down my face.
And today… well today I am just trudging. The definition of trudging through the day. And not even on purpose. I just need to exert minimum energy for a little while so I can get it together before class tonight. Once that is over then I am going to PASS OUT. I have to. I HAVE TOOOOOOO> AHHHHHHHH.
Exhaustion==> delirium ==> BEYOND.
Just so happens to be related to The Daily Post free write prompt!