Loneliness and solitude

Yesterday I volunteered at the Croke Park Classic! For those who aren’t familiar it was a college football game that was hosted in Dublin’s Croke Park, which is a very well known and historic venue for GAA sports. Penn State played UCF in their season opener and it was an amazing game! Because I volunteered there were a few perks… Allow me to explain!

1. I made my TV debut !!! The game was aired on ESPN 2 in the states and so my family were able to see me on TV. Pretty cool right?

2. The rush was unreal! There were 50,000 plus people in the stands all going crazy over their team and we were carrying the flags to orchestrate the opening ceremony. So naturally I felt all of the energy in the stadium because as soon as I walked out carrying my flag, along with the others carrying theirs, the crowd started roaring. It was so cool!

3. Free tickets to the game! We got to stay and watch which was so fun. The game was actually unbelievably entertaining. Sometimes college football and just football in general can bore me but these guys made it interesting. SPOILER ALERT: Penn state won in the last 10 seconds with a field goal. It was amazing and I won a bet lol :).

4. Last but not least: free track suits! If you’re lucky you might get to see me in it again…

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Enough said.

So I’m awake this morning thinking about yesterday and it has got me wondering… Why didn’t I want to go? It was a great time! Up until I was actually walking out on to the field though I literally didn’t wanna go. I didn’t wanna be alone. That was why!

Loneliness … It’s a scary thing and it’s almost as bad as homesickness. Loneliness is a hard thing to overcome especially because it doesn’t feel like a choice. Many people fear it and why wouldn’t they? Feeling lonely can be desperate sometimes, I can identify with that for sure. So I didn’t want to go because I was going alone and I didn’t want to be lonely.

But then as yesterday arrived I realized, I was going to be on TV and watch a great game. It was going to be fun! Who cares about anyone else?! So then I made a choice. I was going and it was gonna be great and I would enjoy it alone. I chose to go in solitude. And enjoy my solitude. I didn’t really know anyone apart from a couple of people I chatted to at rehearsal so I was on my own. And making that choice gave me confidence. I ended up spending the whole afternoon with a couple cool people who I definitely consider friends now and my day was made!

So I suppose the point is about loneliness and solitude. Solitude is a choice to me. And I think loneliness is a fear that is realized when you give it attention. Choose solitude it gives you confidence. It’s okay to be alone! Enjoy your ‘me time’ that I mentioned 🙂 it’s important! Don’t fall into the lonely trap. The way we live these days makes being alone a stigma really. So if you find yourself sitting in your room you’re still texting or on Facebook or stalking Will Smith on twitter. Don’t be afraid of being by yourself. Just don’t. Read a book, take a nap, go for a walk! Or go do an activity… By yourself! Yes by yourself. And enjoy it. That is solitude. Always choose solitude.

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